What To Do When Your Depression Controls You

Today has been hard! It started out ok. I did all my self-care routines, went to work and made dinner. However, at some point during the day out of nowhere depression hit. There was no trigger, no warning, just darkness. Since then it has been a battle to keep my head above water. Here is what to do when your depression controls you.

*This post may contain triggers for those that fight depression. I am not a medical professional and am not offering medical advice. Please seek help from your own doctor. The below is my experience only. In addition, there are affiliate links. If you click and purchase through the links I will make a small commission. There is no obligation to do so.*

What My Depression Feels Like

What does it feel like to live with such deep sadness you don’t know how you will go on? It feels like a weight sitting on my chest. My depression makes me feel like only the worst parts of me are on display. I can barely see the good, even though my brain knows there is good. It is as if there is another person in my mind telling me only bad things about myself.

• More FibroMomBlog articles on Depression:
• Fibromyalgia and Mental Health
• Ways To Help A Loved One With Depression

Even though I know movement will help, it feels impossible to move. My body feels like 100 pound weights are attached to every limb. It surprises me how something that happens in the mind affects the body so greatly. In addition, I get surprised at how completely the depression takes over me. You would think after all the years of experience living with depression I would know how to nip it in the bud. NOPE!

How Will I Overcome The Depression?

Now you know how I feel, so what do I do when this happens? Honestly? I let myself feel it for a bit. I let it wash over me from head to toe. Then I tell it to stop. Is it magic? NO. It takes a lot of courage and a lot of work. I wrote about this in Clawing Out From The Darkness. Since I have been through this so many times, it helps to know it will pass. But, that doesn’t take away the pain in the moment. So what does helps me?

My Tips What To Do When Your Depression Controls You

• Cry! Yes, if you feel like crying just do it. Sometimes it feels better after.

• Talk about it! Find a friend and let it all out. If that isn’t an option write it out.

• Exercise! This one is a struggle, but trust me if you can find the strength to make yourself do it you will feel better.

• Watch a favorite TV show or movie! For me, this helps get my mind off the voice in my head.

• Gratitude! I cannot tell you how much this helps me. Forcing myself to focus on things or people I am grateful for truly does help me.

• Go to sleep! Sometimes I just go to bed and call it a day. A lot of times I wake up feeling different the next day.

• Read! Much like TV it helps distract me and takes me to a different world.

• Make Goals! First of all, I love making lists! Making goals is the best list of all, because it gives me something to look forward to and work towards.

• And…. Ice-cream, that always makes me smile. Although I have eaten ice-cream and cried simultaneously.

These are the things I do. If these things or other things that you have tried don’t help your depression, then I urge you to seek help from a medical professional. This could be your physician or a therapist. You may need medication or a trained professional to help you work through your feelings. There is no shame in this. In fact, if I could find a therapist in my area that takes my insurance then I would totally be going as often as I could.

National Suicide Prevention Line: 1-800-273-8255 or text CONNECT to 741741

You Are Not Alone

The bottom line is I know how you feel. Although it feels like you are alone while you are experiencing these feelings, the truth is you are not. If you need to talk to someone, then I am here or join my Facebook support group The Chronically Strong Warriors. We support each other with a positive attitude towards our issues.

I tend to get really hard on myself especially when I start feeling inadequate (side-effect of depression). I have to remind myself that it is ok, that it is going to be ok. I have been here before and I have made it out every damn time! So, I urge you to tell yourself the same. Most importantly forgive yourself.

What do you do when you are in the midst of darkness? Give us your tips in the comments.