**Subject matter in this article may be a trigger for depression, suicide & self harm.**
This is a post I have been thinking about for a while but couldn’t decide if I wanted to actually write it. Writing about my physical illness is hard enough, but my mental status feels even more intimate. Can I make myself even more vulnerable than I already have? Can I say anything that would be helpful to anyone else, or will this just be an outlet for myself? These are important questions to ask, because although I get to let my feelings out in this blog I want to do it in a way that helps others. So, let’s look at the connection between fibromyalgia and mental health.
First, we must accept that Fibromyalgia and mental health is one of those “chicken and the egg” type of categories. Are people with mental illness more susceptible to Fibromyalgia or vise versa?
Related FibroMomBlog article: How Emotional Therapy Can Benefit Fibromyalgia
My History of Depression
I have suffered from depression for a very long time, possibly my whole life. I was always a shy child and often felt alone. As a teenager my depression went to a very dark place. The depression was so debilitating that I couldn’t even feel anymore. I turned to cutting myself, just to feel something. Granted the feeling was pain, but at the time it seemed better than numbness.
With the help of my mother and a therapist I was able to pull myself out from the darkness. However, it would not be the last time I would go there. I have been so depressed that I thought dying would be a better than my current despair. Thankfully I never took that step. When I had my first child, I think I suffered postpartum depression but was so used to feeling depressed that I didn’t realize I needed help. In this case, my beautiful daughter was the one that pulled me out from that darkness (not sure she evens knows that).
My Fibromyalgia & Mental Health
This last year has been my first huge fibro flare (since diagnosis in 2014) that I have had the worst time overcoming. Depression and fibro feel so similar sometimes that it’s hard for me to tell which one is affecting me. They both make my body, mind and spirit hurt. The pain feels like I have heavy rocks strapped to my body and I’ve been thrown in a body of water. At first, I fight it, but then I get so tired, so overwhelmed, I just let it take over me.
FibroMomBlog’s New Series
Both these subjects Fibromyalgia and Mental Health mean so much to me since they affect me so personally. Thanks to social media I understand that I am not the only one fighting these battles. For this reason, the mingling of these subjects will now be a series on this blog. You can come here to find comfort and support and hopefully some answers. I will continue to tell my story and the story of others. I will also be reaching out to professionals for answers. If you would like to share your story or have questions you would like me to ask and find the answers to please send me a private message. You can do so under the contact me tab in the menu, or leave a comment below.
Read the articles in the interview series:
Please do not feel alone. If this post has triggered you in any way, please reach out to me. I am listing the national suicide line here for support as well. Always seek the help of a professional in an emergency.
National Suicide Prevention Line: Call 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Hotline: 741741
**I am not a physician and this post along with any of my posts is not intended as medical or mental health advice. Please seek the help of a professional if you are experiencing any physical or mental illnesses.
More articles you may like: What is CBD?
Kari/BlogLove
You are so amazing! Thank you for sharing your journey. I know that it will help others! I look forward to more shares & am so glad you are in my world!
Suzanne
Hi Kari, this comment made me cry, not gonna lie. Thank you so much! I am also glad that you are in my world. I am so thankful for the blogging community and the chronic illness community, both of which continually raise me up. You made my day so thank you.
Kari
Aww. You are so awesome! I hope it was a good cry at least! LOL. I am always here if you need me!
sparkling magpie
An insightful and from the heart blog post . It takes a lot to open up about issues like this.
Suzanne
Awe. Thank you so much. I agree, just starting this blog took so much of my courage. With each post revealing so much of myself has been something I have come to terms with. I have always been somewhat of a private person, so this is hard for me. However, if I can help even one person then it is worth it!
Simply Beautiful ß
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It is amazing to see that inspite of these two conditions, you are doing so much great things. You are inspiring and motivating others. MH is very important and it is righteous thing or I can say best thing to consult Doctor for help when you need. You are overcoming them both & you will. Sending much love, light & good wishes.
Suzanne
Thank you so much for your kind words. Both conditions can be very debilitating but my blog and trying to help others helps me push forward instead of slink into darkness. It means so much that read my post and took the time to comment. Thank you so much.
Aparna
I’m diagnosed with clinical depression. Like you, I too was a shy kid, often cried to my pillow during the nights in my early ears. I never came across the other term. I hit rock bottom recently. I’m using this whole month of December to recover myself.
Suzanne
I am so sorry to hear that. I would love to talk to you more if you want to. Feel free to send me an email suzanne@fibromomblog.com You are not alone, reach out to me, if you need to. Take Care.
Erika
I have fibromyalgia too along with other chronic Illnesses. But it wasn’t until I started blogging that I realized just how supportive the community really was. There’s so many people out there willing to help or talk. And I think that is amazing.
Suzanne
Hi Erika, The same thing happened to me. I had no idea this community even existed or that so many people had Fibro. Thank you for reading my post and commenting. I truly appreciate it. If you ever want to collaborate on each other’s blog, I would be happy to do it.
Mashibaby
Thank you for sharing!
Suzanne
Thank you for reading and commenting. It means so much to me.
Telia
I really enjoyed this post and you are so brave to share this publicly. I’ve heard of fibro on TV and such but never really knew what that meant, so thank you for telling your story and helping raise awareness about it. I hope things get better for you.
Suzanne
Thank you Telia. I appreciate your kind words. I also hope that my story helps brings awareness and support to those fighting the battle.
Stephanie Willett
Thank you for this! You have a big heart and thank you for sharing it.
Suzanne
Awe, thank you Stephanie. It means the world to me that you took you the time to read and comment. I truly appreciate your kind words.
Rose
Thanks for sharing such a deep and personal part of yourself Suzanne. I’m sure inspiration will be found in reading your posts on both Fibromyalgia and Mental health.
Suzanne
Thank Rose. I truly appreciate and value your comment. I too hope that this posts helps as many people as possible.
Katie Roman
I love how open and honest you are. It’s so important for all of us to share our stories and support each other.
Suzanne
Hi Katie. Thank you so much. I do hope that my honesty will help others feel more comfortable seeking support.
Aditya
This is a great initiative and takes great courage to express your story in order to help others. Great work!
Suzanne
Thank you so much Aditya. I appreciate you taking the time to read.
Kristin
Thanks for this post. My mom has fibromyalgia and depression, so I’m glad someone is talking about it. I have depression as well, but I don’t understand the fibromyalgia part and she doesn’t really talk about it specifically. So thank you.
Suzanne
Thank you Kristin. I am sorry to hear that your mom has Fibro and depression. I’m also sorry you have to endure depression. I didn’t talk about my illnesses at all until I started this blog. I didn’t even really talk about with my family, until I had a huge flare hit me that stopped me in my tracks. It made me realize how alone it can make you feel. Often people with fibromyalgia are not believed, so it can be hard to talk about. Even sometimes I think I’m crazy and doubt myself. I think it is so important to bring awareness not only to mental health but conditions like Fibromyalgia. It truly means the world to mean that you read my post and left a comment. I hope you enjoy the new posts to come.
Thomas Anderson
Thank you for sharing your story! Mental health is so important and it’s not discussed nearly enough! Speaking about it and talking with others definitely helps! Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a great 2019!
Suzanne
I agree Thomas! I for one am going to help change that with my blog. I appreciate you reading and commenting. Thank you so much!
Steve
Suzanne, you have my respect for your courage in sharing this. I don’t have fibromyalgia, but as someone who’s suffered from depression in the past, I know how difficult it can be. That sense of hopelessness can be overwhelming at times, and enduring the “double whammy” with fibromyalgia must be that much more difficult. The more you can do to educate the rest of us, the better. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, and a happier, healthier 2019.
Suzanne
Thank you Steve, that really means a lot to me. It is hard to bare my soul to the world, but it if helps others than it is so worth it! As hard as things are for me, I know I am not alone and that help keep me going. I hope that others know that I am there for them as well. I appreciate you reading and commenting and I hope you also have a wonderful Christmas.
John Mulindi
This is a very inspiring post to many people out there struggling with Mental Health issues. Thanks for sharing your story.
Suzanne
Thank you John. I appreciate your comment.
Nicole
You are incredible! I love how honest and open you are about your life and what you have dealt with over the years. I am sharing this in hopes that it will find someone to help!
Suzanne
Thank you so much Nicole. I really appreciate your support. I also really hope that my honesty helps so many others as it helps me to get it out in the posts as well. I appreciate you reading and sharing.
Frank
I’m emotional with this story, I can’t even imagine what this must be like to go through. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression and those alone can take me to a dark enough place. Throw in another chronic illness and that seems more challenging than I could personally bear. You are a huge inspiration and I’m glad you decided to share this!
Suzanne
Thank you so much for your kind words. It is comments like this that remind me why I’m doing this. We don’t have to all have the same circumstance to understand each other and be there for one another. For me, it has always been looking for the one thing or things that can help pull me from the darkness. I am lucky to have a family that helps keep me in the light. Thank you again for reading, it is so appreciated!