Every year my family goes around the table and says what they are thankful for. Even though this year has been my worst (read my about me here), I am determined to stay positive. Finding the things I am grateful for (even if it kills me) will happen. I often find myself feeling sorry for myself and wondering why I have a chronic illness that there is no cure for and that the medical community barely understands. Yet, I need to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. It is important to find the silver lining so I am able to live a fulfilled life.
Here are 6 ways you can try to find gratitude this holiday season:
1. Try to focus on the “good” days. I am thankful for the days that pain is less than a 6 (on a stupid 1-10 scale). To me this number represents the fact that the pain is still there but I can push myself. I can still do the activities I need to do and there might not be consequences. The reason I say might is because I’m still in the dark on what I can do and feel ok the next day and what causes me being immobile. I say this cause I don’t seem to find a pattern yet.
2. The days when “normal” activities are tolerable. I am thankful for the mornings I wake up, take a shower (see my love/hate relationship with taking a shower), go to work and don’t feel like I need to get right back in bed. This is something I feel a lot, so when it doesn’t happen, it is truly special and something to cherish. Really I should start paying attention to how often this happens so I can focus more on that than on the days when it doesn’t happen.
3. Notice the little things in life that bring you joy. I am thankful for coffee! Without coffee, I do NOT know how I could go on. I know, I am so addicted but it is better than alcohol or drugs….right? I drink my coffee black so there aren’t a lot of extra calories in there. Sometimes, coffee and I don’t get along though. I sometimes get stomach aches from drinking coffee or having too much of it. So to avoid this I try to just have one cup at the most two a day, but if it weren’t for my stomach I could be drinking it all day long. Seriously!
4. The people who “pick you up” on a daily basis. I am thankful for my family. My mom always supports me NO matter what (see October’s gratitude letter). She is for sure my number fan and I can always count on her. My husband is my rock (see my gratitude letter to my husband). He is the one that picks up my slack and makes sure I don’t forget things (lol – it used to be the other way around). My kids are my joy in life. I love them to death and I love watching them grow up. Although, it also makes sad because I miss my kids being babies (sometimes).
5. The people who also live through chronic illness. I am thankful for my chronic illness community. Without them, I am not sure what kind of mess I would be in. They cheer me on, support me and most of all accept me. My chronic illness community doesn’t ask anything in return of me, yet I give it. They understand how I feel without me even saying it because they go through similar experiences as I do. There is no back-stabbing or drama, it is just people lifting up other people and it is so beautiful. Please visit these links to only some of the people who have supported me.
Amy http://dreambig_beunique.com
Emily https://empowerthepatients.com/
Sheryl https://www.achronicvoice.com/
Michelle http://www.etsy.com/shop/spooniesistershop
6. The people who choose to be there for you. I am thankful for friends (which by the way the list in #5 are also considered my friends). There are not many but its ok because the ones I do have are very good.
a. My oldest and dearest friend Jennifer (you know who you are) has been my best friend since we were like 13 ( I think). This isn’t a relationship I have to work at, it isn’t one where I will be judged. We have gone years without talking sometimes, yet when we finally do talk it is like we never missed a beat.
b. My sister is someone that I consider to be a best friend as well. We are so different, but I always know that no matter what she will be there for me. I wish location wise we were closer, but in the end it doesn’t really matter because if she ever needed me I would walk a million miles for her.
c. My co-worker and I used to sit right next to each other(literally we were in the same cubicle) and she is also like a sister to me. Nicole has always shown me love and support in everything I do. She is like my personal cheerleader, yet I know she will give me her honest opinion. I call her a sister because we could disagree with each other and know that wasn’t going to change how we feel about each other.
There is so much more I am thankful for, however I have some Fibro Fog right now and can’t think anymore. Now you know, I am not always positive and thankful. However, whenever I find myself drifting off that path the above 6 reasons are what bring me back. If you are in the same situation as me, or worse, I encourage you to try to do this same practice. If it helps, write down your 6 or more things you are grateful for and keep them someplace you can see them. Being able to read them every day will head off the blues, and when it doesn’t then read them out loud.
As always I would love to hear what you are grateful for, please continue the discussion in the comments below! I answer back ALL comments.
Sandy
Great list! I’m thankful for you and who you are!:)
Janice
I have a chronic illness also. I try to be thankful for things like you listed.
Suzanne
Thank you for commenting Janice. I truly appreciate it. Chronic Illness Warriors have to stick together. I’m here for you if you need anything.
Sofia
My son has a chronic illness. He’s just a little baby right now. I always feel grateful for those good days and the normal days because it’s one less day when he’s not in pain and/or overwhelmed with the struggle of it all. Great list! Thank you for sharing!
x Sofia
Suzanne
Thank you so much for sharing Sofia. I am so sorry to hear about your son. My son has had mental health issues since he was a toddler, so I know how hard it is to watch your child suffer. Please feel free to reach out to me if you need a friend. Take care.
Terri, Reclaiming HOPE
I love your gratitude list Suzanne! It’s so important to remember all the things we have to be grateful for, especially on those “not so great” days. Pinning this!
Suzanne
Thank you Terri. Agreed and thank you so much for your support it is appreciated.
Leah
This is an important list! I am happy to hear how you handle things. Attitude can be a world of difference between good days and bad days. I don’t know much about your chronic illness but I enjoy reading about it from your perspective. Keep it up!
Suzanne
Thank you Leah! I appreciate you reading and commenting. I can tell you when you don’t have control over your health, you try to take control where you can. It doesn’t always work, but I sure do try.
Angell
Way to give some perspective!! There is always a silver lining even if we have to dig deep and push the crust out of our eyes to see it! Lol. I admire your attitude in what can’t be an easy time! Press on girl! ❤️
Suzanne
Awe. Thank you so much Angell! I really appreciate your kind words. It is comments like this that help me through the bad days, so thank you so so much.
Stumped Mom
Thank you for sharing this. Even those of us that are well are really only well temporarily so it really does apply to all.
Suzanne
Thank you so much for reading- it is so appreciated!
Abantika
Lovely post dear!?
Suzanne
Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to read!
Thea
I am grateful to all the ppl out there like you that are able to voice how the rest of us feel and think that are not able to explain to our loved ones what is going on in our fog filled minds and our very uncooperative bodies. My husband thought I was crazy till he started reading some of the blogs I sent him.
Thank you so very much for helping us get understanding!
Suzanne
Awe Thea, thank you. Your comment is the exact reason I am doing this blog. I hope it continues to help you.